"He's going to show them the way to truth and righteousness."

- Monty

Context: I don't remember exactly. I know he was talking about Mika and the Pacific Jazz Band.

"'Tis the season... for Jingle Jazz."

- Monty

Context: Said before performing Good King Wenceslas at the Rotary Club meeting.

Happy Holidays!

"And now you know why we are a band and not a choir."

- Monty

Context: He says this when the band tries to sing a song. Like when we sing to the bus drivers.

Alisha Wilcken: "I don't want to sound like a quitter, but is there a bass part for Molly On The Shore?"
Monty: "You sound like a quitter."

Context: Alisha plays Flute and Bass, and Bass is a lot easier with some songs.

Monty: "Mika is giving you all the musical equivalent to play-doh."
Mika: "No, I am giving them the musical equivalent to 5 dollars in the dollar store."

Context: Mika taught the Middle School students the major pentatonic scale.

"Let me get my magic trumpet machine."

- Monty

Context: Monty was telling us about when Matt Forbes had brought him Mariya's broken trumpet. This was sarcasm because he can't do anything for a destroyed trumpet.

"You always walk in with that look on your face. Like you are going to kill or hurt someone."

- Devin Shaw

Context: I walked in to jazz band one day and he said this to me.

"I have to find the perfect tempo."

- Monty

Context: In reference to the previously found "Perfect Tempo". He had been snapping his fingers for about 20 seconds while trying to find it.

"If I fall over and die in the middle of a performance, keep playing. 'Cause Cameron will do the cut off."

- Monty

Context: Monty was standing in the back playing with the trumpets and was made aware that there was nobody up front to cut off the band. So he assigned Cameron. 

"You're not gonna remember! That's why god gave us pencils!
I had two recording sessions over the weekend. You know what everyone had? Pencils."

- Monty

Context: Explaining the importance of pencils in band class.

"Just a reminder, no eating in here."

- Monty

Context: Said while eating a scone that was given to him by another teacher.

"If at first you don't succeed, give up."

- Monty

Context: We were going through exercises in a book, and he gave up on one after the first time we played it.

"This is what the lyrics boil down to;
Dear England,
Stick it."

- Monty

Context: One of the band books has an old chorale titled Chester. He explained the story behind the song and how the title had nothing to do with the lyrics, besides that Chester was a town in England.

D. Joseph: "Would you still love your kids if they weren't musical?"
Monty: "No."

Context: He was only joking, but it was still funny. I was talking to him about whether he wanted kids or not.

"How important is breathing? Well if you don't breathe, you die.
So if you sit like this* you are killing yourself."

- Monty

*He was sitting with bad posture.

Context: He was explaining how bad posture makes you not breathe good and why that is bad.

"It sounded like mallets were falling from the sky."

- Monty

Context: The percussionists weren't entirely together on a rhythm around the band.

"It's like you are a guy wandering down the street mumbling to himself. We want to hear a great public speaker."

- Monty

Context: Someone from jazz band should remind me the context for this. It was said today.

"I know that laugh. That's the 'what you just said is going on the blog' laugh."

- Monty

Context: When he says something funny I laugh and/or ask the people around me for a pencil.

Context: I pointed out to Monty that he put the wrong date for White Pep Band on his calendar. He told me that he corrected it.

D. Joseph: "I fixed all the White Band people."
Monty: "Yes, you fixed all the white people."

"Jim hates children! And Christmas!"

- Monty

Context: Jim didn't want to go to the tree lighting ceremony.

Context: The announcements play songs. Today was Mistletoe by Justin Bieber. Monty was grooving out to it and I pointed this out.

"I have a fever."

- Monty

"Only play the quarter notes and be deliberate, like you are using mild swear words. 'Dang, Dang, Dang, Dang...'"

- Monty

Context: He was telling a Pacific Jazz percussionist to play quarter notes on the beat.

"Waiting me for to say something?"

- Monty

Context: I sat down with a notebook after school while he was talking to some Clarinet players. I was hoping to catch him saying something awesome. He has great grammar.

"Trumpets, don’t be in love with your own sound."
- Monty

Context: The trumpets didn't cut off with the rest of the band.

"Lift it up so that the sound comes out, wraps around us, and slaps us in the face."

- Monty

Context: He was telling the french horns to lift up their bells.

Monty: "Nobody listens to me."
D. Joseph: "You know for a fact that isn't true. I have physical evidence that I listen to you."

Context: Monty was addressing the whole band and I disagreed. This blog and my list of quotes is the evidence.

"Analysis is paralysis. Just close your eyes and follow your heart."

- Monty

Context: John Watters was sight-reading a solo and Monty was encouraging him.

"Your ears are your conscience. Let them be your guide."

- Monty

Context: Someone asked if they could use an electric tuner when tuning. He said no.

"Cade, I like how you dress and if I were in high school, that's how i'd dress."

- Monty

Context: Cameron and George were making fun of Cade and his Skinny tie.

Me: "Who started Jazz? Like, who was  the first jazz player?"
Monty: "I was. I taught Miles Davis everything he knows."

Context: He was talking about how most people based their jazz on Miles,

"I can't do it cause i'm not a freakin' drummer."

- Monty

Context: He was trying to play a groove for us.

Extra because he said a lot and I want to.

"You question me?" I've never been right— I've never been wrong."

- Monty

Context: I asked him if something he said was true and he responded that he was never right. He corrected  himself.

"I keep thinking if I ignore the belching it will go away."

- Monty

Context: I burp a lot. Especially during band.

"It's really aggressive, like you're punching someone in the face."

- Monty

Context: The trombones weren't playing with good enough articulation.

Bonus Quote Because I Missed Yesterday:

"We're in America. Don't be rushin'."

- Monty

Context: That was a pun. People were rushing while playing.

"It sounds like you are squeezing your butt cheeks and just letting it out."

- Monty

Context: He didn't like the sound of our notes.

"It's like you go to Baskin Robbins and you get free ice cream, but you gotta beg for it. Beg with your instruments."

- Mika Burgos

Context: Trying to encourage the middle school jazz kids to solo.

"I don't have a catchy phrase for 'Check your key signature'. Just check your key signature."

- Monty

Context: Said after some wrong notes were played.

"Improvisation is another way of saying Having fun with."

- Monty

Context: Explaining what Improvisation really is.

"Hold on...I've found it...The perfect tempo."

- Monty

Context: He was starting the Jazz Band at the Halloween concert.

"Say “I gotta say something!” and then say it. With your instrument."

- Monty

Context: Said while trying to encourage kids to solo.

"This is your imagination going wild through a field of flowers."

- Mika Burgos

Context: He was telling the middle school jazz kids about improvisation. 

"No we can't fancy whenever we want! We have to be bland! It's all about the bland!"

- Monty

Context: We were arguing about bow ties and whether they would be worn on normal days.

"WOO! I LOVE YOU, BUT I REALLY LOVE ME!"

- Monty

Context: He told us how not to cheer for other bands.

"Try to emulate your sound, what I do with my face."

- Monty

Context: He was showing the low brass how to play a section. Picture coming soon.

"If I fall off my stool and die, I’m never speaking to any of you ever again."

- Monty

Context: He was standing on his stool to be seen better and almost fell off.

"We are simultaneously flat and sharp. We are flarp."

- Monty

Context: He was tuning the French Horns

My apologies for posting this late. My excuse is Ponies and no school. It completely made me forget about any responsibilities I have. Ponies have a way of doing that.

"The dance party's in my head."

- Monty

Context: He told us to clap like we were at a dance party. Then when we asked why we would be clapping, this was his reason.

We’re gonna open up with “Don’t Ask Me Anymore Questions”, then we’ll play “Shut Your Face”, and we will finish up with… “Bland”.

- Monty

Context: He told us not to ask what we will play for the winter concert anymore. So I asked him what we will play for the concert after that.

"We're gonna play that last note as if it were witches brew. It *laughs* It boils over.

I'm only gonna say bland things from now on."

-Monty

Context: In Jazz Band. He laughed cause he saw me pull out my phone to write it down.

"This is supposed to be a beautiful part, like, everyone's in a foxhole (cause it's a battle) and they look up and the clouds part and there is a rainbow.

And a unicorn flies over the top."

- Monty

Context: Describing the peaceful part of Battaglia in Symphonic Band.

"I think you are all weird and creepy. So don’t touch me. And you can quote me on that."

- Monty

Context: I asked to feel his beard.

 "You are each a separate guitar string, strummed by the harmonies of life."

- Monty

Context: The saxophones in Jazz Band take over the guitar part in a song.

"Speaking of waiting… this next thing has nothing to do with waiting.

I saw a penny on the ground and I thought, is it really worth it to pick up a penny? And then I figured if it takes you 3 seconds to pick up a penny you are making 12 dollars an hour."

- Monty

Context: Random thing he said in Jazz Band this year.

"Wait a second, we can’t define you. Go back and try again."

- Monty

Context: I really have no idea what this was about. I heard him say it on the bus after a pep game.

"It's supposed to be like Royalty and Majesty rolled up into a cake.

I don't know why a cake."

- Monty

Context: Describing to brass players in Symphonic Band last year what a fanfare should be like.

NOTE: FIRST MONTY QUOTE I WROTE DOWN!

"If Elephants can do it, Pants can do it."

- D. Joseph Wilcken

Context: Said while planning Trumpet Pants.

"They will have the hair on the backs of their necks stand up, and a single tear on the corner of their eyes, that falls onto a rose... and it blooms."

- Monty

Context: Describing how the audience would react to a song the Symphonic Band played last year.