"That sounded really good. I don't know if I tell you that ever, but it was good!"

- Monty

Context: We once did something great in jazz band. I don't remember what.

"I am only going to speak to you in melodies from now on."
- Monty

Context: After getting a quote, Monty decided he was not gonna say anything I could quote. This was a while ago.

"Hey Monty, how much does this chorale cost?
A 'Bach 95'."

- D. Joseph

Context: We were playing a chorale called Bach 95. Which sounded like Buck 95.

Context: Clara made a random squawk-y noise during a rest.

"Someone left a baby elephant in here!"

- Monty

"Taylor Swift is my homegirl."

- Monty

Context: Someone had asked Monty if she could play Taylor Swift on his speakers so everyone could sing along. Monty said no because he was listening to a Tom Harrell CD. This was his response when I asked if he didn't like Taylor Swift.

Austin: Can I go to the restroom now?
Monty: Yes, go take a crap!

Context: In advisory 01/24/13, Austin asked to go to the bathroom several times before Monty responded.

Context: I asked him why he was a little late on one of the icy mornings.

"I went around the first curve, and I spun around and was like 'oh no, don't be late' and I had to drive the rest of the way in reverse."

- Monty

"I'm going to get cancer cause i'm yelling at trombones!"

...

"Thank you saxophones for being here for my health."

- Monty

Context: Saxophones were playing better than trombones.

Riley: That'll ruin the whole song!
Monty: You'll ruin the whole song!

Context: Monty said they were going to change part of Live and Let Die

Joseph: So we are going with a circle today?
Monty: Yeah.
Joseph: Or a square?
Monty: You're a square.

Context: I was asking how the Jazz band was setting up the chairs.

"Where it goes up to the heavens, gets mixed around a little bit, then thrown back down."

- Cameron

Context: He was explaining a part of a Jazz piece for some saxophones.

"KILL YOUR PART! Musically."

- Paul Harshman

Context: He had told the percussionist to "drop the bomb" when hitting the bass drum, then pointed out how violent music can sound.

"It's better to kick the cat than squeeze the cat!"

- Paul Harshman

Context: He was talking about blurting sounds and how some notes can sound like you are squeezing a cat, but it is better to sound like the cat is being kicked.

"... Go ahead and clap now."

- Paul Harshman

Context: Our Jazz Band was listening to the Music Works Jazz Orchestra rehearse, and we sat quietly for a few seconds after they finished a song.

"I keep telling her she'd look good with a shaved head."

- Monty

Context: We were talking about crazy hairstyles, and he was talking about Mrs. Monty.

Monty: Sleep does not do wonders for my hair.
Joseph: Does it get really messy?
Monty: It gets all knotty... Not that kind of knotty.

Context: I said he needed his beauty sleep to keep his hair nice.

"You can fix it all you want, it's still a mullet."

- Monty

Context: Said after I was fixing my hair at the mirror.


"Trust me, I have a pony tail."

- Cade narrating for Joseph

Context: A line from Little Red Running Shorts. Where Joseph was pretending to be Monty.


Better late than never. RIP Joseph's Mullet.

"It's as if you have a puppy named solo, and you do what you do what you do, what you do what you do."

- Mika

Context: Explaining how soloing should be fun and you should have fun with it.

"Their different is different than ours there."

- Monty

Context: He was talking about how the recording of a piece was doing something different than we were doing, and he got tongue-tied.

"We preach intestinal breathing here."

- Monty

Context: He was talking about how the diaphragm pushes your intestines out of the way and other science stuff.