Context: I was trying to announce something to the band using the microphone while the stand was all the way down. However it didn't work.

D. Joseph: "Aww, It's off. Why Monty? Why?"
Monty: "To make you look like a fool."

Monty right before we play a chorale: "If we do that, no band can play better than us."
Monty right after we play the chorale: "Bands can play better than us."

Context: I forgot the advice he gave us to play the best.

"It's an Instant Concert. Just add water. Microwave for three minutes on high."

- Monty

Context: We were playing Instant Concert by Harold L. Walters

"If you Burp in a forest and nobody is there to hear it, did you actually burp?"

- Monty

Context: Said while creating the Official Belching Rubric with Brady Flotten and I. We were talking about how burps can only be rated high if people are around.

D. Joseph: "Did you steal some of your mother-in-law's stuff?"
Monty: "No... I borrowed it."

Context: He said that he was staying after school until Mrs. Monty came to help him get some of her mother's stuff out of his office.

Official Belching Rubric

Created By: Monty, Brady Flotten, and D. Joseph Wilcken

3 points possible for Length, Volume, and Pitch each. 

+1 point if at least 5 people are nearby and laugh.

"I'm supposed to be doing work and instead I'm doing this."

- Monty

"I love telling people to shut-up because everybody knows I'm not serious... But seriously, shut up."

- Monty

Context: Said at the extra practice during HSPE testing. People were being loud.

"You stay at Crazy Go Nuts University cause the band is playing at forte for the chorus and you are the soloist. You are the professor by the time you are done. Then it is all down hill from there."

- Monty

Context: Using his analogy of how a solo is like a plot arc and the climax is CGNU, he told Mika how his solo was an exception because he needed to start loud and crazy.

Context: While talking to Mrs. Shaw, Devin Shaw, And I about his music for the Music Works Jazz Orchestra. He told Devin and I to not listen. I did.

"You guys stop listening. Most of the time I don't practice, I just show up and play."

- Monty

Monty: "While I was in my office, I was listening to us."
D. Joseph: "You weren't listening to her?"
Monty: "Nope, no idea what she said."

Context: He went into his office to talk to someone, and we continued playing without him.

"If it sounds like angels, you're good."

- Monty

Context: The best way to tell if you are in tune.

Context: Monty was letting the trumpets tune a bit more, and Matt tried to point out what was wrong.

Matt Forbes: "You're flat."
Monty: "She's got ears!"

"And always let the tubas be your guide"

- Monty

Context: Telling us to listen to the tubas for dynamics.

"You guys are doing a little better at following the conductor than the wind ensemble.

- Monty

Context: Said as a compliment after we followed his conducting well.

"At first you thought you were Crazy Go Nuts, but you really weren't."

- Monty

Context: Monty gave an excellent lesson about how a good solo is like a plot arc, and the climax is where you play CGNU or Crazy Go Nuts University. Basically where you just play wildly. Not really having to do with the CGNU or the Dumples.

"I'm dreaming of the day where we sing through a chorale like this and then walk into the choir room unannounced and sing through it on 'dah'."

- Monty

Context: We were singing a chorale in band in order to here how we should play it.

"If you want to mess with someone hide in the closet and jump out and scare them."

- Monty

Context: He offered an alternative to messing with someone's instrument.

"They are tools for musical powers."

- Monty

Context: He was talking about our instruments being important and that we shouldn't mess with other people's instruments.

"I wondered what I'd have to say to get on the blog. And then I questioned my life."

- Lindsey Yaroslaski

Context: This quote was said a while ago but I came across it and thought it should be posted. She was talking about how she had been looking on the blog over the weekend.

Congratulations, You made it just by questioning your life. That's all it takes.

"Did I say that? Did I say any of those things?"

- Monty

Context: Some of us at the jam session started quoting him back to him.

100th quote on the blog!

"Off on what beat? Off on nebulous and a half?"

- Monty

Context: Sometimes Monty will be talking to the class and ask a question, then mumble quotes or other things to himself. Sometimes I hear what he said and can write it down.

"Dom, that was disgusting... I loved it."

- Monty

Context: He was telling Dom to make his solo sound nasty and disgusting in order to be hip.

"The building has amazing security. If you come in at the wrong time, hundreds of guns pop out of the walls and point at you. Like The Incredibles."

- Monty

Context: We were talking about the security at the school and he was exaggerating a little.

"Go home, lock yourself in the bathroom. Your parents will think you're crazy. That's okay, I do too."

- Monty

Context: He was explaining how bathrooms have really great acoustics because of the tile, and therefore make a great place to practice and hear yourself. Also, there is a mirror generally so you can see what you look like while playing and improve your posture.

"Ain't it feel good? That's the stuff life is made of."

- Monty???

Context: I have no memory of this quote, but I found it written in my handwriting on my music folder. I think Monty said it but I have no clue.

"Your sheet music should be slightly moist."

- Monty

Context: He was telling the saxophones to really articulate some notes, even if it was only spittle half of the time.

"It's like you're a 350-pound linebacker."

- Monty

Context: He was either describing how people were playing there notes, or how they were supposed to play their notes. All loud and heavy.

"That's what I heard. I heard Vietnamese noodles right there."

- Monty

Context: He was describing how saxophones played a rhythm with the last note sounding like "FUH".

The more limbs that are flailing about, the better it looks."

- Monty

Context: In reference to the Harlem Shake.

"I don't care what your rhythms are, just play them right."

- Monty

Context: Said to the trumpets of Wind Ensemble.

"It's most endearing when you scream my name at the top of your lungs down the hallway."

- Monty

Context: I have a habit of yelling "HEY MONTY!" when I see him down a hall.

"That's why I like playing trumpet. I can hide behind it. I close my eyes and I'm in my own little world."

- Monty

Context: Someone asked him why he didn't sing in front of large crowds of real people.

"You need to have Collin in your hearts."

"You have to follow the drum set of your heart...and my tempo."

- Monty

Context: Reminders to follow the soft rock drum beat even when it isn't played.

Context: Reily asked Monty if he still had the hair ties that were given to him.

"I had to buy new ones. 'Cause I was tired of them not matching anything. Oh look, pink and orange. This totally matches what I'm wearing."

- Monty

"I'll punch a wall then you'll feel bad cause it will hurt me."

- Monty

Context: He was telling students why they shouldn't ask the time for a concert anymore.